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I Told My Husband To Go Sleep On The Sofa Due To His Snoring?
By administrator | November 23, 2009
Now he won’t speak to me. His snoring has gotten worse over the years. I attribute it to his weight gain and have asked him to do something about it. Last night I couldn’t sleep at all and he snored louder than a bear. He got mad at my bickering and finally went to sleep on the couch.
Do you think I was too harsh?
Tape him snoring and then play it back to him in the morning. He may not realise how bad he is. He may also need a sleep study to test for obstructive sleep apnea. This condition can be linked to obesity or hypertension. If he wakes up feeling tired or if you notice that he stops breathing in the night in between the snores he definitely needs to see the doctor to be referred to a sleep clinic.
I don’t sleep with my partner due to his snoring and other things like having the fan on and the window open even in winter. We have always been happy sleeping apart, I like to sleep with the cat and he also hates this, plus we get up and go to bed at different times so we don’t disturb each other.
Los Ojos
Topics: Sleep/snoring | 30 Comments »
November 20th, 2009 at 12:08 am
have him see a doctor and possibly get fitted for a CPAP machine. Losing weight could also help.
Snoring can kill you.
November 20th, 2009 at 12:08 am
Two thumbs up to Captain Feathersword. It sounds very much like your husband is suffering from Sleep Apnea. My darling wife did for years; I gave up and was sleeping on the couch myself most nights of the week. And I was really unhappy about it. She finally went to see the doc and ended up having some surgery that solved the problem.
Yes, weight gain will complicate apnea seriously. However, that’s not the root of the problem, just an aggravating factor.
Please realize this is not something he’s doing to you, or doing willfully. He has a health problem. Redirect your frustration about losing sleep. Don’t be angry at him, make it clear that there’s a problem that you’re concerned is harming his health. Do your reading about sleep apnea and present him with facts.
This is an issue with his health! He needs to go to his doctor and get a referral for a sleep study.
November 20th, 2009 at 12:08 am
if this is a recent change, maybe he can see an ENT specialist to make sure he does not have something like sleep apnea (because this develops overtime as well – a person is rarely ever born with it)
no one can “do” anything about their snoring *sigh* my mother snores loudly ever since i’ve had a memory.
i think it’s unfair to tell him to “do something about it” without actually helping him – that’s like saying “do something about that birthmark”, except you can’t just “stop snoring”
do what you want with your life – all you did was tell him off and there is no solution. deal with it or do the opposite. you already made your move.
November 20th, 2009 at 12:08 am
I suggest you set up the guest room and you can go sleep in there. If he is not willing to get help for both is snoring and weight the drastic measures you need to take are taking matters into your own hands. If ear plugs don’t work then sleep in another room. If you do not have a guest room then sleep on an air mattress. There is no reason for him to be uncomfortable or you to have to get all worked up right before bed.
November 20th, 2009 at 12:08 am
If he is snoring, is overweight…and he is tired after and unrested after a nights sleep…he may likely have OSA—Obstructive Sleep Apnea which can cause a premature death due to increase blood pressure, heart irregularities and increased chance of stroke and sudden cardiac arrest.
**He needs to see a Sleep Doctor asap for a Sleep Study and a CPAP and/or a chin strap.
November 20th, 2009 at 12:08 am
No, not at all, what I do think is that he needs to see a doctor. The snoring could be from a serious problem such as sleep apnea. The weight gain probably does have something to do with it, but it doesn’t hurt to have a sleep study done to prevent further complications.
Just explain to your husband that you can’t sleep because of the loud interrupting snoring and that you are concerned for him.
November 20th, 2009 at 12:08 am
We have the same problem. My husband’s snoring is obnoxiously loud but luckily he was in the Navy so he’s been told that many times by many people and doesn’t hold it against me. Look, when your sleep is messed up it’s normal to be a bit testy! That being said it’s not something he has any control of so I would just apologize for being so abrupt and try to work with him to find a solution. My hubby had a couple of procedures done and had a sleep study but nothing helped. He works the night shift so at least I can sleep and we still get to spend time together in the evenings.
November 20th, 2009 at 12:08 am
It could be because of his weight gain, or he could have sleep apnea. If that is the case, it is imperative that he see a doctor. If he’s snoring that loud, something’s not right. My husband snores lots too. He’s gained quiet a bit of weight and i know that’s probably the case. My father in law was snoring very loud as well. He would wake up every so often during the night and be breathless and black out. He went to a doctor and he has sleep apnea. He sleeps with a machine now…but his snoring has ceased. I’d say for the sake of your marriage and his life…….make him a doctor’s appt.
November 20th, 2009 at 12:08 am
You need to try ear plugs, if you haven’t already. I swear by them as my husband is a snorer too.
I know it may take some convincing, but try to get your husband to join you on an evening walk routinely. He’ll drop some weight and put less strain on his system overall. If his weigh gain is causing increased snoring you can bet it’s doing worse in other organs, like his heart.
November 20th, 2009 at 12:08 am
Yes! What right do you have to a decent nights sleep?
How would he like it if you played Motely Crew on a boom box all night?
Regardless of whether he can help it or not, you cannot function after trying to sleep through that.
Many a married couple sleep in separate bedrooms for this very reason. If he wants to sleep with you, he needs to find a way to stop the snoring.
P.S. The CPAP machine is as noisy as the snoring! My husband snores like a bear and he is super fit and thin.
November 20th, 2009 at 12:08 am
snoring is something that’s touchy, because he can’t help it and is not even aware he does it. also, it happens at night and i know when i can’t sleep i get really cranky.
i think you should try to be nice and understanding, because he really isn’t doing anything wrong. it’s just the way he breathes while he sleeps, he can’t help it.
try breathe-rite strips and i don’t know, sleeping on his side or something. but yeah, he probably feels embarrassed and didn’t even know he did it. i bet he felt really taken off-guard.
November 20th, 2009 at 12:08 am
I have this same problem but I usually go sleep on the couch. Then my husband gets mad because I didn’t sleep in the bed with him, it really sucks. It is usally easier for me to sleep with him if I go to sleep first but he has woke me up with his snores. You might try some ear plugs, those have worked for me in the past. My Grandma and Grandpa had to sleep in seprate beds because of my grandpa’s snoreing, it sucks but you have to find a way to get some sleep too. Good Luck
November 20th, 2009 at 12:08 am
I think so. If it was a behavioral problem, then maybe it would be ok for him to go to the couch. Like if he lied to you… (dont get me wrong, i do not do this to my husband, but im just trying to thing of an example)
However, his snoring is not something he can help. So the better approach would be to talk to him about it, and tell him you really cant sleep. That maybe would get the point across better, and help you mor ein the long run. He hopefully can figure something out. Have you tried the nasal strips yet? I hear they do wonders.
GOOD LUCK!
November 20th, 2009 at 12:08 am
There are dozens of methods to prevent snoring. But first your husband needs to see a doctor for a physical. Sleep Apnea, which can cause extreme snoring, is a serious health risk. Get him to a doctor and then find out what will work for both of you to prevent the snoring. Don’t get ANGRY at him — he can’t help it. If you have to make separate bedrooms for each of you, do that — it’s better than a divorce!
November 20th, 2009 at 12:08 am
Personally- I believe if you TOLD him to go sleep on the couch then Yes- You were to harsh. If you ASKED him to- Then no.
Its not fair that you cant get enough sleep because of his growling nostrils and he should be understanding of that. You should also be understanding to him as he cant control it.
My parent have been married for 22 years and my dad has slept on the couch for 20 of those years- Due to his snoring. My mother cant stand it. After awhile I guess they just get used to it. Haha.
Good Luck Hun- I wish there was a cure !
=]
November 20th, 2009 at 12:08 am
My hubby is the same way for the same reason. I wear earplugs and that helps most of the time….but when I had an ear infection and couldn’t wear them, he was booted to the couch. Sleep is part of health. Just because he is letting his health suffer with the weight gain, doesn’t mean yours has to because of the resulting snoring. I suggest another bed, if you have the room. If the couch doesn’t pull out to a real bed, look at getting one. Earplugs may help enough also…it just takes enough of the noise off to let me sleep – most of the time….
GoodLuck…..
November 20th, 2009 at 12:08 am
My husband snores sometimes and when he does, it’s loud. When I was pregnant, is when it was at its worst. I’d sit there crying wondering why he hated me. LOL After my pestering him, he went to sleep on the couch.
Now, if he snores so loudly where I’m disturbed from sleeping, I’ll go sleep on the couch. It’s unfair to make him go when I’m the one with the problem with it. It’s not like people snore on purpose or intentionally to irritate. So, if you do this often, I think you’re harsh. But, if it has happened here and there, you’re within your right. If he always has to get up and sleep on the couch and you never do, you’re wrong.
November 20th, 2009 at 12:08 am
Sorry but if I was awakened by my spouse i would be cranky too.
Show me one person who says they would wake up and happily with a smile move to the couch.
My husbands snores too, but if it is a night I am having trouble sleeping because of it I usually move to the couch.
Wait till the day you are snoring right next to him, and he’s now complaining(it’ll happen)
My MOTHER snores like a bear!
November 20th, 2009 at 12:08 am
Is this my wife?
I have a similar problem. The main issue is that most of the solutions involve surgery or sleeping with a device in your mouth. Neither of which is appealing. I have lost 32 lbs. I’m only slightly over weight (maybe 20 lbs) and the snoring has not improved much for me with weight loss. I have noticed it is seasonal (allergy driven)
Have him try those breath right strips. If he has allergies, Flonase (prescription) has helped me in as well. Also have him stay hydrated.
November 20th, 2009 at 12:08 am
It’s something he can’t really help. Why don’t you stop making him feel bad about it and help him do something about it. What if he told you to sleep on the couch because your hair was in his face when you slept, or that you move your leg too much or something else you couldn’t really help? If he’s not willing to work with you when your being nice and not naggy, then consider separate rooms
November 20th, 2009 at 12:08 am
Snoring is connection mostly to sleep apnea. Meaning he isn’t breathing when he is asleep. And you are being mean to your husband for not breathing. Yes. That is very harsh.
Instead of calling him fat (weight is part but not all of it) see a doctor and get tested for it. It can lead to worse things than you not sleeping if not curred.
November 20th, 2009 at 12:08 am
Ha I think it is FUNNY!
My best friend’s dad sleeps on the couch for that same reason.
But he does not seem to mind.
You could have been a little understanding.
My ex and I used to sleep together and he snores loud too.
But since I was in love with him it really did not bother me as long as I was sleep before him.
But when he falls asleep first I have fun with him, especially when I’m not tired.
I squeeze his nostrils together for 2 seconds.
Or close his mouth.
It’s SO funny .LOL.
You could get him some nasal stripes though.
See if they work.
If not and it bothers you that much, seek help in that field.
November 20th, 2009 at 12:08 am
This is a bit harsh and unless you both go somewhere to find a solution for his snoring there will be tension. You, because you cannot sleep, and him because you’re making him sleep on the couch. There are solutions and finding some together might help patch up any hard feelings
November 20th, 2009 at 12:08 am
no lol when your tired especially it gets very very annoying.
i used to hit my boyfriend so hed wake up (but he was still drowsy, and never remembered lol) but then he’d go straight back to sleep and start snoring again!
just say sorry and make a joke out of it with him,
and get some nose plugs! lol
November 20th, 2009 at 12:08 am
Yeah, I think that was belittling and rude considering he can’t really help it. Instead, you should of looked for ‘ breathright’ strips for him to wear while he sleeps and suggested he try them – kindly- , or talk to the doc about getting the sugery he needs http://www.medicinenet.com/somnoplasty/a…
November 20th, 2009 at 12:08 am
My wife is a smoker and sounds like a chainsaw when she sleeps. I try waking her up to change positions but nothing works and I typically end up on the couch.
I don’t think you’re being too harsh. His problem is disturbing your sleep.
Good luck to both of us.
November 20th, 2009 at 12:08 am
I think you were too harsh. Have you considered asking him to talk to his Dr about the snoring? Aside from weight, there are legitimate medical reasons he could snore. Why don’t you alternate sleeping on the couch?
November 20th, 2009 at 12:08 am
If you’re willing to sleep on the sofa half the time instead of making him do it all the time then no, I don’t think you were too harsh.
November 20th, 2009 at 12:08 am
Why don’t you get a white noise machine or get him to see a sleep doctor? Or try breathe right strips. You can’t have him sleeping out on the couch for the rest of your marriage!
November 20th, 2009 at 12:08 am
No way! My husband snores the same way. I get sooo annoyed. I pinch him and push his face into the pillow. He’s too selfish and sleepy to even notice. If I fall asleep first it’s usually okay and I won’t even notice. But no you weren’t harsh. It’s disgusting and annoying!